You might be a Coloradan if ...

  • You carry your $3,000 mountain bike on top of your $500 car.
  • You thought "Californication" would be banned by Amendment 2.
  • You're actually proud of "South Park."
  • You have a business degree and are frying burgers at McDonald's.
  • You have a fat tire in your refrigerator and your garage.
  • You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home from work and he stops at the day care.
  • You own a big dog named Aspen, Buck or Cheyenne that wears a bandanna.
  • You cast out your fishing line while white-water rafting.
  • You've never seen the tourist attractions in your own city.
  • All summer you thought a redneck named "Bubby" was gonna be your quarterback.
  • A pass does not involve a football or a woman.
  • You are 82 years old and take up snowboarding.
  • Your SUV tire size exceeds your IQ.
  • Your real Y2K fear is running out of Celestial Seasonings tea and trail mix.
  • The entire top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
  • You personally wouldn't pay $10 per head to drive up Pikes Peak unless it was the only mountain on earth ... but you tell all your house-guests to do it.
  • You get depressed after one day of foggy weather.
  • You wear the latest fashions a year after they went out of style.
  • You think that formal wear is ironed denim.
  • North means "mountains to the left;" south is "mountains to the right;" and east and west are where all those damn liberals keep moving in from.
  • You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels "sticky."
  • You consider a three-piece suit to be a pair of shorts, a sweatshirt and Birkenstocks.
  • You see your East Coast relatives now more than when you lived there.
  • Your bridal registry is at REI.
  • You can run up 10 flights of stairs without huffing and puffing.
[Humor Index]